"It just occurred to me that I am a snowboard whore. So began a January 2004 commentary by the Aspen Times's potty-mouthed columnist, Alison Berkley. Had she turned tricks slopeside? Nope. Given a sensual massage in the lift line? Nah. The harlotry in question was Berkley's job as a kids' snowboard instructor at Snowmass—make that her former job. After she referred to her students in print as "whale boy and "fat retarded kid and proclaimed that said pupils were the "brain dead offspring of "hot rich dads who can slip "crisp one-hundies into her "G-string undies, Berkley was (surprise!) fired. "She pulls no punches, says an instructor who wishes to remain anonymous. "It's scary being her friend. At any moment your name could be in the paper, along with what you did the night before. As for her position at the broadsheet, she gets to keep that one. Her editor thinks she's "edgy. How about just plain mean?