Don't Come-a-Knockin'
Cold Front
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Last July, the town of Lake Louise announced a proposal to build a six-mile electric fence around its perimeter as a way to keep grizzly bears at bay. (A similar fence recently went up around Lake Louise resort.) We think it’s a great idea: Stateside ski areas could benefit from such measures. Below, some suggestions for future barriers.
The Resort:
Keystone, Colorado
The Barrier:
A moat filled with warm, soapy water.
To Guard Against:
Smelly credit-card hippies from Boulder who missed the exit for A-Basin.
The Resort:
Hunter Mountain, New York
The Barrier:
A wall of giant televisions broadcasting Yankees highlights 24/7.
To Guard Against:
Red Sox Nation.
The Resort:
Yellowstone Club, Montana
The Barrier:
Cardboard cutouts of Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh.
To Guard Against:
Ted Turner.
The Resort:
Deer Valley, Utah
The Barrier:
A giant dome that covers the resort at the push of a button.
To Guard Against:
Snowfall-because the filthy rich are entitled to sunny weather.
The Resort:
Taos Ski Valley, New Mexico
The Barrier:
An ancient family mandate.
To Guard Against:
Snowboarders. Wait-that one already exists.
