Skiing takes you to the summit. But sex, done right, is the real high.
Easy, killer. By the time this is published, I’ll probably be in active labor to bring my second born into this world. So, yes, I am well aware of the consequences of sexual relations. But, you poor male soul, you just don’t get it. Skiing better than sex? Let’s get real.
You’re right about one thing: Comparisons between the two activities are inevitable. All that adrenaline and momentum, the undulations and ripples of ecstasy. It’s difficult not to leave it at that. But everybody knows one of the best parts of any ski day is when you finish your last run and head back inside to peel off your boots. That one simple act marks the beginning of après-ski-and it can be a telling portent of what’s to come. Depending on how you play it, things can go one of two ways: In your world, you probably down a few beers and fall asleep on the couch in your smelly long underwear, only to wake up a couple of hours later to head across the way, unshowered, to the bar for a quick burger, a few rounds of pool and some shots of Jäger (I know you still enjoy them, even though you claim they are a frat-boy habit of the past). Then it’s back to the condo, where you summarily turn on SportsCenter and again fall asleep on the couch. In my world (and in that of many other women), the perfect après-ski includes time spent unwinding next to a toasty fire with hot toddy in hand while my feet are being gently rubbed by my husband. Then it’s off to the hot tub for some R&R under the stars, followed by a long, hot shower and a candlelit dinner for two at one of the resort’s many fine restaurants.
After a bottle of wine and a chocolate torte, it’s a hand-holding walk back to the condo, where we stoke the fire once again-preferably in more ways than one-capped off by a deep, satisfied slumber. That’s what I call a perfect ski day.
And since you mentioned it, I hate to break it to you but Charlize really has no idea who you are.
Your lovely wife, on the other hand, just might be interested in a little dalliance. So next time you’re hitting the slopes, be sure to save some energy for après-ski-it will bring a whole new meaning to a day in the bumps.
Skiing or Sex? Your choice
Log onto www.skimag.com/forum and tell us whether you believe that skiing is better than sex. What about the learning curve? And how important is equipment?