Is it okay to wear snow clogs on a first date?

No. At least, not if you want a second date. Snow clogs, you see, are primarily a utilitarian shoe: a simple, slide-in upper affixed to a beefy sole bedecked with traction-providing ribs and protrusions that keep you from falling on your keister. If that workmanlike snow clog were meant to go on a date—dancin’, romancin’, puttin’ on airs—then, by God, it’d have some fancy-schmancy laces screaming, “Look at me and my pretty string-and-eyelet fastening system! Well, sir, clogs don’t cotton to such high-falutin’ ways. Clogs have work to do. The North Face Purna, for one, would rather walk to the corner store; the Salomon Snow Clog, for another, would rather take out the trash. Neither wants to be dragged around on your aimless ski-town booty calls.