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Spring Break Gaper Safari

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Finally,

Skiing

has managed to capture live video of the elusive

Gaperus texarkana

, more commonly known as the Gaper.

(See video below.)

Once a year, usually in mid-March, these majestic creatures migrate north to mountainous regions in search of moguls, bunny slopes, and cheap pitchers of beer. Characterized by their form-fitting stonewashed jeans, Starter jackets, and Reagan-era ski gear, this species is known for its indomitable good cheer and positive attitude. “There’s way more snow here then there is back in Plano,” hollered this male specimen. “I’m gonna find me some bitchin’ jumps. Wooooo!” Check skiingmag.com for more shining moments in skidom. Coming soon.