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You Can’t Win G.N.A.R. Points If You Take Skiing Too Seriously

Shane McConkey knew how to prove who was the best skier on the mountain. Let us not forget.

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Urban defines the word gnar as follows: “A shortened version of the word gnarly, meaning high on the scale of dangerousness and coolness.” While that definition is certainly applicable to the game of G.N.A.R. it is actually an acronym that stands for Gaffney’s Numerical Assessment of Radness. G.N.A.R. is also the bonus chapter in Robb Gaffney’s book, Squallywood, and was created by Shane McConkey.

Squaw Valley skiers and snowboarders have been playing G.N.A.R. under the radar for years but the game had never officially been played until last season.

The basic premise of the game of G.N.A.R. is to score as many points as possible in a designated period of time by attempting lines, acquiring extra credit points (ECPs), and earning bonuses. Scores for specific lines, extra credit points, and bonuses are all laid out very clearly in the G.N.A.R. chapter of Squallywood.

Every line listed in the book has a specific numerical value, riders can earn extra points by doing tricks or ECP’s like skiing a line butt naked, stopping midline to urinate, giving a radness yell, talking to your mom on the phone while skiing a line, cooking breakfast while waiting in the KT line, or froot booting through the terrain park wearing only women’s lingerie just to name a few. Penalties can also be incurred for a number of reasons like back-slapping, losing a ski, or gaper gap.

Last year, held a competition at Squaw Valley based on the game of G.N.A.R. with a winner-take-all prize purse of $25,000. A hand-selected crew of mostly local rippers was selected and the game was to last for two weeks.

G.N.A.R. The Movie

After just one truly epic day of filming, which included cooking breakfast in the lift line, incredible skiing in some marginal conditions, ego claiming, and a whole lot of naked skiing, the game of G.N.A.R. was not surprisingly shut down by Squaw Valley Ski Corp. While public nudity might be hilarious to most people, apparently there are some people out there who aren’t amused by it. 

After careful deliberation, the G.N.A.R. crew decided not to give up the dream. Instead, they forfeited the cash prize and put it towards the road trip of a lifetime. While on the road they spread the gospel of having fun while skiing through nudity and basically letting everyone know that they’re the best skier on the mountain. And they got it all on film. 

The G.N.A.R. movie isn’t your typical ski porn. Filmed entirely at resorts and on the road the movie truly captures the essence of what skiing is all about. It also goes into the history of Squallywood and the creation of the game of G.N.A.R. Archival footage from Matchstick and Scott Gaffney Productions coupled with commentary from some of the area’s top pros and Shane McConkey’s best friends help the viewer to understand the game and its beginnings as well as what skiing at Squaw Valley is all about.

The movie comes with a few warnings, the most important one is that there is an abundance of man ass, and they are not kidding.

Most importantly, it reminds us to stop taking everything so seriously, and to ski for the reason we all started in the first place: fun. Seems like that’s how McConkey would have wanted it.